The Drawn Across Journal

This first story is a transcript of an interview I had with my Abuela Maria. She was born in the Dominican Republic and moved to the United States just as she was entering her twenties.

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Can you say your whole name and where you were born?

My name is Maria Ramona Gonzalez de Jimenez and I was born in the Dominican Republic and lived in a farming village called Los Palmaritos, Tenares.

What was the community like?

It was very simple, you know, and it was not like a typical neighborhood. I used to live in this house, and I had to walk to find the other neighbors.

But for me it was very natural. We always had to enjoy whatever we had.

I remember I used to go with my dad to pick up the avocado, the oranges, and I used to be with him. I loved to be with my dad. And whenever it was raining, he didn’t want me to go with him. But if I noticed that he left, I started crying.

And what was his name?

Hector Gonzalez. 

And in the house that you lived in, well, I know you had a lot of brothers and sisters, so, can you kind of show me what your family looks like there?

Well, it was a very simple house, only one bedroom for everybody. Yeah. And I am the oldest. Then my brother, Luis. My brother—we are six, brothers and sisters, two brothers and four sisters. Mm-hmm. I am the oldest one. I remember I had a lot of responsibility because, you know, you are the older, you need to take care of your brothers and sisters. Ever since I was a little girl. But to me, it was normal, you know? And I enjoyed it. I remember we used to live in a place that we didn’t have electricity, running water.

We had to go to the river to wash the clothes.

We used to eat whatever my dad used to produce, and… And we had those little pulperias, like markets. He used to go and buy the rice. In my country, la comida que se come es arroz, frijoles y carne. […the food that we eat is rice, beans, and meat.] Well, the meat, we used to have the chickens. And we used to eat eggs from the chicken. Whatever my dad produced at the time, we had to eat it.

And remember, like I said, we used to live in a place that everybody shared everything, fruit, whatever they had. It was for everybody. Nobody really sold anything at that time. You know, certain things, but people used to share everything that they had.

So it was very community-based. Did you find that same community in school?

Oh, yes. Yes. It was the same people. But there was something that I remember: when I was a little girl, we used to walk by ourselves to school. And there was a girl older than I. And she used to tell me the cuco was coming, and she used to scare me. Me decía que yo iba a encontrar el cuco, que me iba a comer, me iba a desaparecer.

[She told me that I was going to encounter the boogeyman, that he was going to eat me, that he was going to make me disappear.]

Whenever I saw her, I would say, “There she is. She’s going to tell me about the cuco again,” so I would run because I didn’t want the cuco to follow me. You know the things people say, and I used to believe it. Everybody was very innocent.

And then from that town we moved to another town. But this one was a little bit more civilizado. And it was closer to my abuelita. I think I was around 8 at that time. I learned so much from Abuelita. From my dad’s side. Mm-hmm. She was a really, really nice woman. Very, at that time, you know, muy educada. […very educated] And that’s why I always remember her, y yo iba con ella a la iglesia, siempre la acompañaba y yo dormía con ella para acompañarla, para que no durmiera sola, because her daughters were already older. [… and I would go to church with her. I always accompanied her, and I would sleep with her to keep her company so that she wouldn’t sleep alone…]

And your abuelo wasn’t around at that time?

No, because he was unfaithful to her.

So did you like the new school in this town?

Yep. And then from there, uh, uh, uh, that school only—when, I don’t remember exactly what time—it was only until, like, like, ¿cómo se dice?, la primaria, la primaria y middle school.

[How do you say it? Elementary school, elementary school and middle school.]

Yeah, from that, I had to move to the El Pueblo town, Tenares.

At that time, when I moved to the new school, to Tenares, that was when I met William. But we didn’t—we were like, not paying attention to, you know, to each other.

When you were in school, like, was there anything in particular that you enjoyed about being there?

With my friends, I used to have a—I always never had a lot, a lot, a lot of friends. I think [I was] very particular, you know? I knew everybody, but there were four girls. But there was one that we always got together to do the homework too.

Yeah. That was Julietta. Ahí fue donde William se interesó en mí because el abuelo de Julietta le decía a él, “William, hay una muchachita bonita. Tú tienes que ir allí a mirarla.”

[That’s where William became interested in me, because Julietta’s grandfather would tell him, “William, there’s a pretty girl. You have to go there to look at her.”]

Y yo miraba, pero I never had that kind of interest. I was in high school. [And I would look…]

And then from there, he would always appear on his bicycle whenever I would go to visit someone, so I would get mad. Someone would tell him that I was there, and I was nervous because when I got home someone was telling Mami, “Oh, María está con muchacho,” and I was like, “No, eso no es verdad, eso no es verdad.”

[“Oh, María is with a boy.” And I was like, “No, that’s not true, that’s not true.”]

So I know Abuelo William moved to the US first.

Yes, con su mamá.

[Yes, with his mother.]

He told his mom to go and ask my dad and mom so we can be boyfriend and girlfriend, to ask my parents for permission to visit me before that. And I stayed in the Dominican Republic, and he would write me letters at that time. I used to stay there waiting for him, dreaming, waiting for my prince.

I know you were also very young when you came to the US, but do you remember the day that you knew, “I’m gonna go over there now, to the United States”?

Yes, and I was very excited because William went to the DR to marry me. Then he went back to the US while waiting for my papers. And then from there he started to prepare the immigration papers, and we were very lucky because they gave them to us in person. It was a process.

So we got married in 1977. Then I was able to travel and came to New York at the end of ’78.

So in that process, was the plan to always go to the US, or was it when you met Abuelo?

No, I never had that in mind. It was always like, “I’m going to be here.” Pero cuando nos casamos ya sí, porque él residía en Nueva York.

[But when we got married, yes, because he lived in New York.]

Even though I was happy I was gonna be with him, on the inside I was like, I’m gonna be separated from my family and leave everything. I remember when I got to New York, I used to cry by myself because I missed my family, my mom, my dad, my brothers and sisters.

To me, it was like a… mmm, como un shock because to change from the way I used to live… to New York. Oh, my God. But I used to look up at the buildings. Oh, my God.

[To me, it was like a… mmm, like a shock, because to change from the way I used to live… to New York.]

But I never said anything. I used to keep all those feelings for myself.

Yeah. And the way that the city moved so fast.

Yeah. Big, big adjustment. So, when you came to the United States, is there something in particular that you remember? You know, you had, obviously, it was a hard transition to come, and you felt sad, you missed your family, but was there a point where you said that you, you know, where you were finally happy, that you were like, you’re excited, like, “This is my home”?

Oh, yes, yes.

Yeah. You know, it was like one or two months that I had those feelings. It was normal. But after that, I was happy, you know, because William’s family adopted me like, you know, they were always, always, always really nice with me.

All of them. Doña Carmen, his mom, oof, the best. She used to treat me better than me… Mejor a mí que a William.

[She treated me better than she treated William.]

Always there protecting me, and that’s something I’m always going to appreciate. That taught me que yo siempre necesité hacer eso con Ernie, por ejemplo, to be nice the way she treated me. […that I always need to do that with Ernie, for example…]

When you learn something, you never forget it. So, like now with Salma, I love her the way she is and her family too. Es un sentimiento bonito because I always want the people around me to feel comfortable, you know what I mean?

[It’s a beautiful feeling…]

To feel welcome.

Yes.

And so at the time where would you, abuelo, and Dona Carmen spend the days?

Oh, he was at school. He was in school. He was in school and he was working also.

And that was another thing that I noticed: that everybody was busy. Everybody was busy, and that was a bit normal. And I started adjusting with myself to that.

And something that I always remember was when I noticed that I was pregnant with your mom, oh my God. That was something that I felt like… Oh my goodness. Am I prepared? I’m gonna be a mom. But I was happy.

And at that point, what did Abuelo do for work? Was he a police officer already?

No, not yet. He used to work as a social worker, helping people who would go to the offices with whatever they needed.

Before that, he went to college?

Yes, he went to learn about social work. But after that, he applied to be a corrections officer.

Did you go to college?

No, I didn’t, but I wanted to. You had to pay, but we didn’t have enough income. And the language, that was something that I regret, that I never had the chance to go to school and learn proper English. Whatever I knew was because I listened and would buy books to study, but it was never the same.

Do you think if Abuelo hadn’t come here, you would still be living in the DR?

Yes, because when you don’t know something, you never miss those things. It would have been totally different.

Since you had Doña Carmen, what parts of the culture did you find comfort in the US that you brought from the DR?

Well, she used to work a lot. She had her own business. But another thing I would notice [was] that there were lots of Latin people in New York, especially Dominican [people] en esa parte de Manhattan. […in that part of Manhattan.]

One thing I do regret is that I never really had my voice. The idea was that the man does and knows what is best for the family, and to me that was normal. I thought that was the way it should be.

So with that, what do you think that, not only with your experience as a Dominican but especially as a woman, that journey taught you looking back?

Había muchas cosas que uno aprendió que uno creyó que fue normal, ¿entiende? Después de muchos años fue que yo entendí que no debe ser así, de que uno debe tener su voz y que uno debe decir qué uno siente y hacer lo que uno quiere hacer. Y no tener miedo como mujer, porque toda la vida vamos a estar así.

Todavía hay cosas que nos quieren callar a nosotros, pero antes fue peor. Pero yo siento que tú aprendes de todo y a mí me ha hecho ser más fuerte, mucho más fuerte internamente.

Ahora yo puedo decir cosas que yo jamás en la vida podía decir. Y pensar diferente a como yo pensaba totalmente.

[There were many things that one learned that one thought were normal, you understand? It was only after many years that I understood that it shouldn’t be that way, that one should have one’s own voice and that one should say what one feels and do what one wants to do. And not be afraid as a woman, because we’re always going to be this way.

There are still things that people want to silence us about, but before it was worse. But I feel that you learn from everything, and it has made me stronger, much stronger internally.

Now I can say things that I never in my life could have said before. And think differently from how I used to think, completely.]

You felt you had to grow.

Yes, it’s never too late to learn something positive for yourself. And something that I admire now is the new generation, the new couples. Ellos hablan sus cosas, se comunican mejor, pienso yo.

[They talk about their things, they communicate better, I think.]

Ustedes, las muchachas, hoy pueden decir, “No, eso no es así. Me gusta de esta manera.”

[You girls today can say, “No, that’s not how it is. I like it this way.”]

Y yo te aconsejo que nunca, de que nadie, por más de tú quieras a alguien, nadie corte tus sueños, que nadie te diga “no puedes hacer eso.”

[And I advise you never to let anyone, no matter how much you love someone, cut off your dreams, and never let anyone tell you, “You can’t do that.”]

Y no me refiero a tu familia, me refiero al compañero que venga a tu vida.

[And I’m not referring to your family; I’m referring to the partner who comes into your life.]

Porque esos son sueños y claro que uno debe tener un balance y escuchar a la otra persona and say, “Bueno, tienes razón,” o no.

[Because those are dreams, and of course you have to have a balance and listen to the other person and say, “Well, you’re right,” or not.]

Pero nunca, si tú dices “no voy a hacer algo,” es porque tú dices “no, no lo voy a hacer.” Que eso fue mi error.

[But never—if you say, “I’m not going to do something,” it’s because you say, “No, I’m not going to do it.” That was my mistake.]

And now going more broad, more general, what were some of the highlights of your life?

Lo más importante para mí fueron mis hijos y William también, porque él cometió ciertos errores, como quizás yo también, porque somos humanos. Cometió errores, pero lo hizo con el deseo de proveer siempre, porque él pensaba que estaba haciendo bien, tú sabes.

Mis hijos son los más importantes y después que ustedes llegaron, eso es algo inexplicable. Esperar un niño, los nietos. Eso es algo maravilloso. Son amores diferentes, pero no quiero decir que uno es más grande que el otro. They’re different but not one over the other, un sentimiento muy bello.

Yo no me arrepiento. Yo soy una persona que yo pienso que las cosas pasan con una razón. Cada día es un día nuevo. Estoy muy orgullosa de mi familia.

[The most important thing for me was my children and William too, because he made certain mistakes, just as perhaps I did too, because we are human. He made mistakes, but he did it with the desire to always provide, because he thought he was doing the right thing, you know.

My children are the most important, and after you all arrived, that is something inexplicable. Waiting for a child, the grandchildren. That is something wonderful. They are different kinds of love, but I don’t want to say that one is greater than the other. They’re different, but not one over the other, a very beautiful feeling.

I don’t regret anything. I am a person who thinks that things happen for a reason. Every day is a new day. I am very proud of my family.]

Well, you and Abuelo making that journey is the reason I’m here. It’s the only reason I’m here.

And know that we are here because Doña Carmen is the one who started, and because she brought William, who brought me, and I was able to bring my family too. It’s a connection.

And times were very different than now. En cuanto a inmigración, it was different. Totalmente diferente.

[As far as immigration, it was different. Totally different.]

And it’s different when you come with papers already ready.

So what’s your reflection now with the world and the way people view immigration nowadays?

Inmigración toda la vida existió, toda la vida. Y nunca va a parar.

[Immigration has existed all our lives, all throughout history. And it is never going to stop.]

A veces vienen personas que no tienen buenas costumbres; hay personas que vienen y ayudan, que laboran a lo que es crecer a un país también, porque hay personas que vienen a trabajar, la mayoría.

[Sometimes people come who don’t have good intentions; there are people who come and help, who work toward helping a country grow as well, because there are people who come to work, the majority of them.]

Lo que está pasando ahora yo pienso que es muy triste porque no se está haciendo de la manera que se debe hacer.

[What is happening now, I think, is very sad because it is not being done in the way it should be done.]

Yo estoy de acuerdo que las personas que hacen cosas malas, criminales, okay. Tienen que sacarlos.

[I agree that people who do bad things, criminals, okay. They have to be removed.]

Pero personas que han venido aquí y están trabajando, están haciendo bien, tienen su familia, yo creo que debe haber una manera legal para ayudarlos a que tengan sus papeles bien.

[But people who have come here and are working, are doing good, and have their families, I believe there should be a legal way to help them get their papers in order.]

Que no los miren como enemigos, como destructores, como la mayoría de mucha gente ahora están mirando.

[So that they aren’t looked at as enemies, as destroyers, as many people are looking at them now.]

That’s a great note there.